Written in July, 2010:
"I’m not certain what has compelled me to write this. It’s likely a combination of feelings…boredom, frustration, anxiety. I’m not a professional writer, nor am I a professional anything, for that matter. What I am is a product of my unique generation. No generation has ever before been presented with the types of challenges facing mine and ones after me today. On one side, I feel the pull of my senior generations and the world they have created. It is the pressure to assimilate, to work and conquer, to sacrifice one third of my adult life toward some type of occupation, the integrity of which may be less important than the dollar signs I can produce with it. For me, that is compounded by the inherent fear of societal judgment that comes with not pursuing a socially acceptable position, or having enough money to live an abundant lifestyle. As much as I try to ignore or counter it, it’s still there. Especially now that I’m approaching my third decade of life and am beginning to think about my future, as opposed to just the future. On the other side, I feel the rebellion and wanderlust of my generation, the refusal of influence from my senior generations.
Living in Canada, it is easy to see the world from either perspective. The former perspective is simple. There are no immediate catastrophic environmental threats in Canada. The quality of life is high. We have abundant natural resources. The lifestyle is peaceful and we enjoy a relatively high degree of social freedom. The only thing one needs to survive and enjoy a happy and successful life here is a good education and a good job, or some business savvy and a good idea. That seems fair. And that’s the basis of our capitalist culture.
But, it doesn’t take long to see past this smokescreen. From the depths of radical alternative information to ancient indigenous prophecies, from extremist religions to the carnage portrayed on the evening news, there is much that suggests our rein on this planet is coming to an abrupt end, and the walls we’ve put up are tumbling down around us. Or rather, the foundation our Earth has provided us cannot support the structure we’ve built on top of it.
My feelings of anxiety and frustration stem from the dilemma of choosing a path for my life. How does one process this barrage of conflicting information and opinion? How can I logically sacrifice my short term future for the benefit of my long term future, when all of these signs suggest to me that a long term future, or one supporting the same construct of society, is not probable? If that is the case, then, how should I be planning to use my short term future? What can I expect to experience from the world of the future? What is valuable to me and what can I get out of this short life to make the most of it? If there is a long term future but with a different set of rules or under a new paradigm, what is that new paradigm and how do I prepare for it? And, possibly the most difficult question and frustrating scenario, how do I adequately sustain myself and possibly a family in this broken paradigm while preparing for a new one, whatever that may be?"